My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
