i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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