oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
