Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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