i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my being single is dangerous.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
