so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
