He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
