oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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