All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I puked a lego.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
