This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
