i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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