pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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