a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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