the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
