My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
