Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
