True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
