Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
