Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
