I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
