Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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