I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
