He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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