Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
