I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
