I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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