He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
