Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
