So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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