my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
