Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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