I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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