New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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