I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
