so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
