i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
