I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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