If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
