So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
