OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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