I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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