i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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