when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
