no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
