barbara walters just said penis...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
