I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
