if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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