There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
