absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
