I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
