I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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