and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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