how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
smell my finger.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
