He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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