Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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