TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
