so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
