Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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