I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
