The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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