She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
