I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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