she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
