I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
