So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
